Kids And Birthday Parties

One aspect of getting married at 51 was inheriting a kid. Nicholas turned 11 last week; his birthday party was this past Saturday.

Kids birthday parties in the 'burbs resemble getting Ringling Brothers on the road. Plans for these things start months in advance, much like a wedding. There's the invitation list. The venue. The theme. Getting invited means you're "in the loop." Not getting invited means you must find something else to do with your day. Many kids seriously in the loop sometimes have several parties to go to in a day, much like Hollywood stars.

Then, there's the food and activities. Many parents max out credit cards and take out second mortgages to pay for their child's soiree. This year; we decided to try and keep it on the cheap, but good at the same time. Nick wanted taquitos, tortilla chips and pizza rolls. Off to Sam's Club for institutional-size boxes of taquitos and pizza rolls, plus giant bags of tortilla chips you'll never finish without having a second party. We also got him a giant birthday chocolate chip cookie, because that's what he wanted.

It wasn't enough.

Eleven kids and their parents showed up yesterday. Fortunately; most of the parents left and came back; elated to have some together time. A couple of parents stayed and drank adult beverages. First item on the kids' agenda--nibble on taquitos and tortilla chips--then, play outside.

About 45 minutes later, the little darlings return, hot and sweaty. And hungry. They proceeded to devour the party table of taquitos, pizza rolls and Velveeta dip much the same way as pirhana go after a cow that wanders aimlessly into the Amazon.

It became evident in short order we weren't going to have enough to eat. The taquitos were history and the pizza rolls weren't far behind.

Across the street to Giant for more pizza rolls. Two giant bags later; I return, to find we're now into the birthday present and birthday cookie portion of the show. Apparently, if you tell kids something sweet is on the way; they'll stop eating.

Now; we have two whole bags of pizza rolls plus another half-bag from the feeding frenzy. We also have two huge bags of tortilla chips, another institutional-size brick of Velveeta, plus the melted Velveeta we didn't get to.

Above and beyond all this--the ice maker quit working. So much for the Dreamsicles...